Daddy Time

I noticed something today as we were going about our usual morning routine, I was doing all the work and my husband was not doing any work. Let me say this first, I make it a point to not complain about my husband and really I don’t have much at all to complain about. He’s a great guy! He has been working hard so I can stay at home and I really appreciate that. So this is not actually complaining but more of a realization. What I mean by him not doing any work is this: as I am feeding Petunia her morning bottle, he is watching the morning news. As I am entertaining P he is making himself a nice scrambled egg omelet thing-y (in his defense he did ask if I wanted any eggs-bleck! Not so much an egg person). As he was peacefully enjoying his scrambled egg omelet thing-y with toast and juice I am juggling my instant oatmeal and making P’s solid breakfast. As he is still enjoying his scrambeled egg omlet thing-y with toast and juice, I run P upstairs to change her diaper and clothes (while my oatmeal is getting cold). As he is playing on the computer I am feeding P her solid breakfast while trying to eat a few bites of my own. As he is playing the guitar I am cleaning up the dishes and then putting P down for a nap.

So I am asking you wise and experienced mommies, is there anything wrong with this picture? Or is this how it always is? Am I naive in thinking he could take some initiative and feed or clothe our daughter? He will do whatever if I ask him but do I always have to ask? Am I too controlling so he doesn’t want or think he should do anything? I am curious how do you all split responsibility of the kids, is there a designated daddy and kid time or do your husbands take control once and while?

I brought up the subject with him this morning as we were getting ready for the day. I practiced my speech in the shower 12 times and had every response covered. Not that I was expecting him to say “no way” but so I could really get my point across. So I say, “Do you think you could be in charge of P one morning a week, you know feed her, dress her, change her? I think she would benefit from her daddy doing that with her once in a while.” and he was all, “Yeah, I could do that.”. What, it was that easy? So I feel a little better. I would like him to take the intiative rather than me asking him but maybe I shouldn’t push it. I would like him to think, gosh my wife works hard, maybe I could take care of P one afternoon and so she can grocery shop alone for once. Alas, that hasn’t happened. Will it ever?

One Response to “Daddy Time”

  1. I just HAD to comment on this one because I face the same problem. Even on the weekends, I do all the feedings, diaper changes, food preparation AND bath times. Daddy plays with Bear and doesn’t understand why, by the end of the day, I’m slamming cabinet doors and crazy-bitter.

    He has told me on numerous occassions that, if I want him to do something, I need to ask. I always say, “You know what needs to be done. I shouldn’t HAVE to ask!” See, it’s not that he’s not willing to help (like your husband), it’s that men and women are (astoundingly) different. So, I try to swallow my irritation and just ask, because the answer will never be no.

    Good luck!

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